WHY DOES ALL HATE IN THE WORLD BOIL DOWN TO ME!!!!!

HEY I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN A WHILE I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL BUT BELINDA IS RIGHT TRY AND ACT LIKE YOU DONT CARE I KNOW ITS HARD TO DO ME AND JAMIE WERE TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 2 YEAHS AND SHE LIKE TO OF KILLED ME WHEN SHE LEFT ME THIS LAST TIME BUT SHE KNOWS I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR HER AND THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE TO HOLD HER ON NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL IT HURTS MORE AND MORE ONCE YOU GET TO THINKING ABOUT IT. JAMIE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND ALWAYS WILL BE NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE HER PLACE PEOPLE MAY COME AND THEY MAY GO BUT I BET NO ONE COULD EVER MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHE DID OR DOES I MEAN SHE STILL TELLS ME SHE LOVES ME AND ALL BUT I WOULD RATHER FOR HER TO SHOW IT THAN TO SAY IT. I MEAN I KNOW SHE LOVES ME BUT ITS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SIT BACK AND ACT LIKE NOTHING MATTER BETWEEN US BUT REALLY IT DID. BUT I DO ACT LIKE IT DONT BOTHER BUT I SIT BACK AND CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT SHE IS THE LOVE I THOUGHT WOULD BE MINE FOREVER BUT I THINKS IT WHAT I GET FOR HURTING EVERYONE I HAVE BEEN WITH IN THE PAST I WISH I WOULDNT OF HURT ALL THE PEOPLE I DID BACK THEN. BUT THE PAIN SHE HAS GAVE ME I CANT BARE THIS ANYMORE AND I CANT MOVE ON BUT ALL I CAN DO IS THINK AND SUFFER MAYBE I SHOULD JUST NOT THINK ABOUUT WHAT IVE DONE MAYBE I SHOULD THINK OF WHAT I HAVE HELD FOR THE FUTURE. BUT I GOT TO GO AND REMEBER THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO HAS THE SAME FEELING BUT IF WE ALL GOT TOGETHER THEN WE SHOULD CREATE A RIOT TO KILL ALL PAIN U KNOW YEAH I WISH IT COULD BE THAT EASY. BUT I GOT TO GO L8R

HELLO ALL HOWS IT HANGING ME JUST PEACHY SO HOWS LIFE WITH EVERYONE ME ALRIGHT JUST BORED AND A LIL CURIOUS ANYWAYS IM GOING TO WRITE THAT POEM NOW I WROTE BACK WHEN JAMIE BROKE UP WITH ME AND YEAH ITS SORTA SAD TO ME IT IS BUT OH WELL HERE IT GOES........

I WANTED TO BE THE ONE

 I WANTED TO BE THE ONE WHO YOU COME RUNNING AFTER, I WANTED TO BE THE ONE WHO WATCHES YOUR LAUGHTER, I MISS YOUR VOICE, I MISS YOUR SMILE, I WONDER HOW YOUR DOING, WHILE IM IN DENIAL, WHY CANT YOU SEE THAT YOU WERE MADE FOR ME, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MORE THAN WHAT I COULD SAY, YOU MEAN SO MUCH, THATS A REASON I LIVED TODAY, I BARELY CAN MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE BUT NOT TO HAVE YOU, THERES NO REASON TO BE ALIVE.

ITS SHORT BUT CUTE IN A WAY ITS A SUICIDE POEM HAVENT YOU ALL HEARD OF THEM BUT HEY THAT WAS THEN THIS IS NOW. WERE TOGETHER AND IM HAPPY WE STARTED OVER ON A CLEAN SLATE. ITS LIKE WE FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. I KNOW SHE IS ALL THAT I TALK ABOUT ON HERE BUT HEY AINT THAT WHAT IM SUPPOSE TO BE ABLE TO DO ON HERE. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT HER BUT SHES MY WORLD I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT HER SHE IS ALL I GOT TO LIVE FOR. I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS FOR HER IN WORDS BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST. HOW CAN I SAY IT I LOVE HER MORE THAN N-E-1 OR N-E-THING I COULDNT PICTURE A FUTURE WITH ANYBODY ELSE BUT HER I JUST WISH SHE COULD SEE HOW MUCH SHE MEANS TO ME. IF ONLY SHE KNEW IF ONLY SHE KNEW WHAT I WOULD DO FOR HER I WOULD DIE FOR HER I WILL WALK A 10000000 AND ON MILES FOR HER I WANT TO BE WITH HER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I HOPE SHE FEELS THE SAME I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO OF SHE DIDNT FEEL THE SAME BUT I HOPE NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS TO US I COULDNT BARE THE THOUGHT OF BEING LONELY AGAIN IM HAPPY AND IM BEGGING WHOEVER PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY. YOU KNOW ITS CRAZY HOW THIS WORKS BUT JAMIE IS THE ONLY PERSON SEE THAT HAS SEEN THE SWEET SIDE OF ME. AND SHE TELLS ME THAT I LET PEOPLE SEE THE SWEET SIDE OF ME THROUGH HER AND IF YOU LOOK AT IT I DO. IT WIGGS ME OUT BUT ITS TRUE IHATE FOR PEOPLE TO SEE ME BEING SWEET. NOT REALLY I LOVE THE ATTENTION. BUT YEAH I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK THAT IM A SOFY-HEARTED PERSON WHICH I AM ILL ADMIT BUT ONLY TO JAMIE THOUGH OTHER PEOPLE COULD ROT OR SOMETHING BESIDES MY FRIENDS BUT YEAH U KNOW. I CANT HELP THE WAY I FEEL FOR HER BUT IM HAPPY WITH HER AND I COULDNT BE ANY MORE HAPPIER THAN WHAT I AM ITS JUST HARD TO BELIEVE SHES MINE ALL MINE ONCE MORE AGAIN BUT YOU KNOW SHE SAYS THAT IVE ALWAYS HAD HER MAYBE I HAVE MAYBE I HAVENT BUT I BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAYS CAUSE SHE KNOWS THE TYPE OF STUFF I WANT TO HEAR U KNOW WHAT ANY/CHICK WOULD WANT TO HEAR. ALL I DO KNOW IS IM HAPPY AND I WANT TO MARRY HER I CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT YEAH I FEEL IT. YOU KNOW ONE OF THOSE TYPE OF EMOTIONS THAT YOU JUST WANT TO CUDDLE THATS IT. BUT I G2G I MISS JAMIE AND TIME FOR ME THO STARE AT ONE OF HER PICTURES AND LISTEN TO HER VOICE SO YEAH L8R. SARA BETH MATTINGLT LOVE JAMIE RAE PUCKETT FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

oh yeah the poem ill write it later kind got lost in thought with jamie so yeah oops my bad. SARA LOVES JAMIE

Hello peoples hows it going me all good and games im so bored im in computer apps. and i have nothing to do dude man someone reak up in here yeah and it nasty so hows all of my true buddies doing oh oh oh i talked to patrick dunham yesterday hes my home boy i love that lil dude to death (friendwise) no im not cheating on jamie you know everytime i say i love someone i get accused for cheating not by jamie but by people who doesnt want me and her being together but you know jamie is the only person i truely love and i found out something that kinda got to me last night Jamie cheated on me at a party and yeah well it was back in july but yeah still it hurts i cant believe i went this long without knowing but it ok we decided to not bring up pasts so yeah she dont do it to me and i wont do it to her but you know no one can stop jamie from doing anything she will do what she wants and people shouldnt try and change her for it you know. i havent i dont think so i mean i want the best for her she does deserve it i mean shes life to me and without life what do you got. She has time to where she can be so sweet and times to where you just want to grrrr. you know. when me and jamie spend times together there is nothing in this world that would match up to it. i love her i do so much ill give up my life for her i will do anything to make her happy she means the world to me but hey peoples i g2g remember to all people who read i love jamie rae puckett forever and always no matter what til death do us part shell always have me. bye yall. l8r SARA BETH MATTINGLY LOVES JAMIE RAE PUCKETT

well me and samantha has worked out all of our problems and we are friends like we used to be and im acually happy once more cause of me and jamie i just hope people dont come in between us again we have become a really happy couple me and jamie and thats all i want is for her to be happy. samantha told me pretty much everything about what jamie did behind my back and i told her stuff jamie done behind her back so yeah were ok now im not sure how long this will last but yeah hopefully forever because i hate having enemies and i hate to hate yeah sounds crazy but its true. Just people get on my nerves when someone is with someone you dont try and break them up make them realize how much they acually love you and no matter what a friendship is not worth loosing over anyone and i realize that now it took me a while but yeah. its true oh samantha u know ive already told you that i said everything awful about you and yeah thats when we were pissed at each other. so if you read last entry yeah i was pissed cause i heard a bunch of shit so yeah oh and bye the way me and jamie are back together i dont know if she told you or what but yeah we are she said she loved you but i was her first real true love and yeah cause you know she is my first real true love and i would do n-e-thing for her and you know this shes all that i got since i have moved and plus at this rate shes all that i will ever have if not a lover than always buddies not friends cause i cant be her friend cause i love her and i want to be more but i g2g SARA BETH MATTINGLY LOVES JAMIE RAE PUCKETT

well it was almost 2 months since me and jamie havent been together but now we are and im so happy she dropped samantha for me and it feels so good. samantha has came into our relationship to many times and im not allowing that anymore me and jamie are engaged yeah i know jamie and samantha were engaged key word there was but now me and jamie are but im worried you know jamie has beed with me and she has left me several times i dont understand it but its sometimes crazy how it works but you know all i want is for her to be happy thats all i ask for i cant stop her from leaving me but i can stop her from hurting i know it may sound weird but its true im not saying she will im just saying that im scared for her trying to i dont know i talked to one of my buddies and she told me she was gonna keep an eye on samantha and jamie cause she knows now that we are together and im sorry but samantha is a sorry ass person i dont like her plus shes no friend at all i hate her so much but hey thats just my opinion so you all dont hate me for it. there was a time when we use to be friends ha ha ha ha ha ha whatever we wasnt really ever friends cause she was pretty much a wanna be a want to be me i dont know maybe im just over reacting but im not going to admit i was wrong though but all i can say is i hope jamie is happy with me and hopefully we will be together forever here on out i love her so much no one i mean no one could build up enough love as i have for her shes my world shes my everything my life my air to see her smile is the greatest thing ever the look in her eyes when shes with me the touch of her hand the feeling of her warmth shes so perfect for me i have never loved n-e-1 like i love her nope sure havent but you know i know she loves me i know she does or we wouldnt have been together for about a year and 6 months now but you know she has to put up with my ass or so she says lol jamie if you ever read this i love you i do and i hopw you happy but i got to get to work ill come back online l8r so see ya. Sara Beth Puckett for ever 

                                             

i got jamie back i new she would come back to me i am really happy now but yet sad im moveing friday and today is wednesday and jamie dont know about it what should i do i dont want to hurt her. but like i said im happy alsop it would hurt me as much as it would her im confused i need help but yet dont want it and i dont want to think about it but im happy and scott if your reading this no im not mad at you i still wanna be your friend and yes i care for you so how are u and samantha doin

i really miss her i lost her how could i have done that i am nothing or thats how i feel why am i such a screw up to most people. i never thought i would ever see the day til ewhere i would lose her. how could i is there something wrong with me i would like to know what i really do love her and cant help it and i dont want to i love this feeling i get when im with her i feel as if i acually matter in this world. i feel loved. it is a great thing ill always will be willing to take her back in a heartbeat i would do anything to get her back just name it and i will do it my love for jamie is beyond what anyone could ever imagine live without her. but i have a whole inside me and it once was loved ans it will never be again. (until i get her back) i love jamie.

god scott i know u r going to read this i love u so much im sorry if i say that alot lol but i do i dont think ill ever be able to express it but yeah i g2g i gotta call u. love ya bye

why does everything have to come down to me everthing is my fault when is it not going to be my fault i get accused of shit i didnt even do now thats pretty fucked up i get used i get mistreated people want to kick my ass or eithr people want me to die sometimes i lay down at night and just think whats life for i sure dont want it if i could back then i would of took the oppurtunity and wanted to die all of the chances i had i would of. but now the tables have i realized love and how great it can be theres this guy name scott i met through the greatest band of all times MSD in which when i met him i was in an abuseive relationship with a guy name Zack he use to hit me all the time and i would die just to let him know how much i hate him for that. now that i got scott i know he wouldnt do anything on earth at all to hurt me and i could not ever in my wildest dreams hurt him if i ever did you might as well consider me dead i love scott and im not afraid to let the whole wide world know that i have the greatest relationship ever in my dreams. he is my baby and only and always be i would do anything on earth to know that hes happy and i will try me best to be good to him as he is to me which before i ever met him i use to wonder would i ever be good to anyone i did have this huge bolted locked door over my heart where i was nothing but hatred but now its as open as ever.. long before i ever knew scott i use to try to kill myself of every night of every day i have scars of it or i would try to overdose myself. now when i do look at them i get scared i get scared because if anything ever happened to scott or our relationship i am afraid theyre going to appear back up and if that ever happened i would be running running from a terror that if ever happened i would completely be considered as missing but its not like anyone would care maybe a few but not alot life has litterally got me trapped upon above surfaceing people may call me crazy stupid or insane but why do that what fun do they get out of shit like that i once was in love with an asshole (zack) and he made me loose all of my friends because if i went anywhere near them he would of dumped me i changed my whole image for him because i thought he would be happy he thought i was hot but that wasnt enough i wanted his love and respect that i would deserve. now i have scott he showed me love in which no one could ever tear apart.